Once Upon a Time...

There was a little girl who dreamt about being a ballet dancer. She dreamt of having a GRACEFUL long, lean and strong body. However, her mother didn't think she was a good fit for dance, so she never actually took dance lessons. It turns out genetically? She wasn't so blessed. Apparently, she had these fine ladies in her gene pool...



And not a single day in her life has she been graceful, lean or able to dance.

I have given up on having the ability to dance. I think my mom realized that I was never going to be a dancer right from the start because I am a complete klutz. I'm uncoordinated and I truly believe I have two left feet. It took me months to learn even the basics of crochet because I am right/left challenged.

As far as my weight? It escalated when I went through puberty. I have always been one of those girls you could look at and whisper sadly "Oh if she's not careful she's going to be F-A-T."

After having two baby boys...I was officially F-A-T. And through the marvelous experience of starving myself and getting separated from my husband for about 6 months I dropped about 60lbs. (Don't worry, the romance story has a happy ending, the size of my ass however does not.)


This picture is post separation crash diet...

After some serious couples work, I begged and pleaded to have another baby. I wanted to try for "the girl." And miracle of all miracles we were blessed with one. (Search Dr. Shettles for baby sex info) I lost a lot of the pregnancy weight in the first few weeks only to gain it all back when I was diagnosed with postpartum depression.

And when my princess was about 15 months old and I was finally starting to feel less depressed? We got a positive pregnancy test, which was kind of a shock because our other children had been planned and #4 wasn't in OUR plans. I had a really awful pregnancy but I gave birth to a beautiful little boy who has totally stolen my heart. But because I never lost the weight after my daughter was born, I weighed even more after my youngest son was born.

Which brings us to today. My youngest son is now 16 months and I weigh more than I ever have in my life. I weigh enough for two people. The equivalent of a HEALTHY baby elephant.

But I'm tired of being so uncomfortable, having no energy and being in pain all the time. I'm not meant to weigh this much and I can't expect my body to hold out long term without serious medical complications. So I'm changing my ways (weighs?) starting June 1st. I'm sure there will be many laughs (it's okay to laugh at yourself right?) and possibly some tears, I hope you'll join me.